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This part is gonna be my ranting…
So its like totally avoidable lah.
Can skip this long paragraph if you want.
I just need somewhere to rant out my feelings yeah.
(:

After so much that has happened.
I’m feeling more horrible than ever.
‘How can someone that is supposed to make you feel complete make you feel so empty?’
I liked that quote a lot.
But, I feel more lonely and empty than ever.

I wish to cry.
To let out my feelings.
To help ease the pain.
But I can’t seem to cry.
My tear glands doesn’t seem to be working anymore.
They seem to have stopped producing tears.

I sit down at my chair for hours.
Forcing myself to cry.
But nothing comes out.
It makes me feel more horrible inside.
Things seem to be getting more harder as each day passes.

I was watching “The Holiday” a few days ago.
And the man said to the lady: ‘there is something wrong with you. You don’t even cry’
So… is something wrong with me?

I need a hug.
From someone who cares.
How embarrassing to meet your friend and your first words are: ‘can I have a hug?’
I would ask for a hug from 1 person.
My cousin.
What silly and dumb things have I not said to her before.
But how often do we really meet.
But seriously, I wish someone could just come up to me and give me a big bear hug.
Maybe I could cry then.
Maybe then the tears would have started falling like crazy.

Each passing day is so hard to get by.
I feel more alone than ever.
But smiling is a really easy task.
It always comes on cue no matter what.

_______ever since you left me.
Things just got complicated.
I wish you had stayed.
Things would have been easier.

I wish I could go back to my Secondary 2 days.
It was so simple back then.
All I had to do was show up for school.
Have fun with my friends.
And study for my exams.
Nothing much to worry about.
There was no such as ‘the affairs of the heart’

Alrights.
Enough ranting already.
I think I feel a little better.
But still nothing can remove the feeling in my heart.
It makes me wanna ‘stone’ all the time.
(:
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Anyway…
Will be working for the next 2 days.
6pm – 9.30pm
And Kbox with my poly friends soon?!
Haven’t seen them in a very long time!
LIKE VERY VERY LONG ALREADY!
LOL.

Shall update another time!

<3 meiyun