today so tiring.
i really feel so sad.
i'm not what you think i am.
those words can hurt sometimes lor.
it's just that i know he's hurting inside too so i just wanna reach out to him.
don't you people ever reach out to your friends??
i hold huifen's hand all the time.
i also reach out to sk and sometimes weiyi too.
actually, sk very nice to me nowadays.
listening to my stuff and encouraging me.
why aren't some people like that.
but i understand...

i'm crying all over the place.
when i am in the lift,
when i'm eating,
when i'm spacing out,
even on the bus
and on the way home.
it's so horrible.

it's even more worse than the break-up with my last ex.
cos i only cried before i sleep.
but now it's like 24hours.
i won't be surprised if i cry even in class tomorrow.
even better, if mrs hong scold me,
i'll just cry.
i'm really very tired lor.
i also dunno whether i can carry on a not...
i already no appetite to eat anything.
i think i am shrinking le.
sometimes i think my uniform is too big for me...

i wish everybody can be like my classmates.
just be happy for me.
they see me happy, they themselves can tease me non-stop.

i believe my brother knows what i am going through.
although i didn't tell him anything.
i know he knows that he saw me cry last night.
but he was so sweet to me when i cried finished
he stayed around my side before he showered...
this small little action made me very touched already.
i'm very glad to know that he still cares for his little sister.

i tink i feel much better now.
what i want to say is out for the world to know.
such a long entry.
if you have comments to say
alamak, just leave me a shout lor
don't make me hear it from someone else.
it hurts doubly painful.

[[my heart is no longer mended. it's broken once again]]